1
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,324
Previously on Call Me Fitz.

2
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:23,414
Ken's not my
real father?

3
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,503
Just because he
donated some ball paste

4
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:26,591
doesn't make
him my old man.

5
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:27,766
But he did offer
you a job and you

6
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,072
have accepted.

7
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,073
I'm getting tingles.

8
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:30,987
Brother
and sister.

9
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:31,944
Father
and son.

10
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,120
Mr. Fitzpatrick.

11
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,817
Let's stick
with Fitz.

12
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,036
The family united.

13
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,907
The circle
of life.

14
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,952
This is not
Fitzpatrick Motors.

15
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,998
Maybe not,
but it will be.

16
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,522
A feast for
your eyeballs.

17
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,959
[gasps]

18
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,091
There is nothing
you could do to

19
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:48,961
make me fire
you son.

20
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,398
Nothing.

21
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,878
You have a chance
to make billions.

22
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,750
To do something
really special.

23
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,535
You need to face
the music sober.

24
00:00:57,535 --> 00:01:00,712
Who's the man
of the hour?

25
00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:01,931
I've been trying
to turn the heads of

26
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,889
the Kobyashi Investment
group for months.

27
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,804
Guess who contacted the Omo?

28
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,937
Father!

29
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,504
They're flying in
tomorrow and Richard is

30
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,810
going to get
them on board.

31
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,116
[laughs]

32
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:16,206
Father is not who
you think he is.

33
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,904
Every bad thing that
has ever happened to

34
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,080
the Fitzpatricks.

35
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,735
All Father.

36
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:26,782
These came in
for you, son.

37
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:34,006
[♪ ♪]

38
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:41,753
[♪ Nutcracker ]

39
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:42,885
Merry Christmas!

40
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,191
Shut the fuck up!

41
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:49,152
'Twas the night before,
the night before Fitzmas,

42
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,372
and all through the house

43
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:54,897
A secret unearthed
by a doctor named Klaus.

44
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:58,988
Revealed Richard's father
was not who he knew,

45
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:03,427
which is why Ken engaged
in a tipple or two.

46
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:06,387
And now this poor father
had only one heir.

47
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:07,605
and the one that remained...

48
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:08,867
Uh uh uh!

49
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,783
was not quite all there.

50
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:15,613
Compounding Ken's pain
was his not so young wife,

51
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,180
who declared it was time

52
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,225
So long fuckers.

53
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,836
to get on with her life.

54
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:23,665
And even the fixer
had left Ken alone.

55
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:27,277
being too busy finding
a fix of his own.

56
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:30,280
But one truth above all
had made Ken's heart sink,

57
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:35,372
for the son he once knew
had abandoned the drink.

58
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:38,723
And so sat young Richard,
all snug in his bed,

59
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:43,641
as visions of O-Mo
danced in his head.

60
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,688
At last Ken's boy took on
the life I had dreamed,

61
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:49,734
but suddenly all was not
quite as it seemed.

62
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,955
For somewhere inside of me,
vibrant and strong

63
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:55,392
was a horrible feeling.

64
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:58,439
Could I have been wrong?

65
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:03,574
[♪ ♪]

66
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:09,841
♪ Without you
I'd find my smile ♪

67
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:14,803
♪ Without you
I'd'a won by a mile ♪

68
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:20,939
♪ Without you
Oh life would be so grand ♪

69
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:25,857
♪ Without you
I'm half a man ♪

70
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,208
♪ With out you

71
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:36,999
♪ Without youuu

72
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,783
♪ Without you.

73
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,964
Ho ho ho motherfuckers.

74
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,358
Kwanzika came early
for Joshy this year.

75
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,797
How the frankincense
can I fail auto shop?

76
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,799
I've made a
horrible discovery.

77
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:55,974
We must
remain calm.

78
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:56,758
Zip it.

79
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:57,759
Both of you.

80
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:58,847
I'm going over
my Christmas list.

81
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,544
FYI, you're getting
me a pony,

82
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,677
but I didn't
hear that!

83
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,853
I am a wolf in
sheep's clothing.

84
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,246
In trying to make
Richard good,

85
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,770
I have driven him into
the clutches of evil.

86
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,772
Oh oh, speaking of evil,
which one of you inbreds

87
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:11,686
is going to
babysit Justin?

88
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,948
Not it!

89
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,819
You're abandoning
your son on Christmas?

90
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,995
Family tradition, Lar.

91
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,475
Mama's gonna get
all nogged up and

92
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,129
make some mistakes.

93
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,391
But what
about Richard?

94
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:22,784
We need to save him
from the evil clutches

95
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,089
of Pat Childs!

96
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,613
Relax, Lar.

97
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,876
Every Christmas Fitz and I
get high, watch Scarface,

98
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:31,009
and then pig out
on House of Chan.

99
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,707
Hey, bestie!

100
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,275
Time to blaze in
some Christmas cheer.

101
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,841
Mandatory drug
testing at the O.

102
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,669
I can't risk
my sweet payday.

103
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,062
You.

104
00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,150
Sober.

105
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,369
That's hilarious.

106
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,805
Ever wonder if there's
a reason you can't

107
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,763
graduate, Josh?.

108
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:46,982
Every day dude.

109
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,244
Richard.

110
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,201
You can't leave your
family on Christmas.

111
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,377
I'm not.

112
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,813
In fact I'm headed
over there right now.

113
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,336
We need to address
your psychological--.

114
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:54,859
Whatever it is,
I'm on it.

115
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:57,166
No Ricahrd -
you are?

116
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,909
I shoulda made these
changes a long time ago.

117
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:04,216
You were right,
cock pup - Larry.

118
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:07,481
[♪ ♪]

119
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,831
[sighs]

120
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:25,368
[♪ Oh Christmas Tree
instrumental ♪]

121
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,065
Seriously?

122
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:28,893
You paid the guy from
the Leb food joint

123
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:31,940
to say you
were dead?

124
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:32,854
Well, you
got me here.

125
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,769
What's the
fucking emergency?

126
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:39,034
Lainey, oh
sweet Lainey.

127
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:42,646
I can see it all
so clearly now.

128
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,474
Smells like you're
seeing it in double.

129
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,389
I never shoulda used
our wedding to

130
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,608
show up
my brother.

131
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,305
You got me to come
here to tell me

132
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:50,828
shit I
already know?

133
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:53,918
I want to
start again.

134
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,529
I'm gonna turn this
joint into the

135
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,792
class-A shithole it
deserves to be.

136
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,576
Jesus, it's like a
things-I-don't-give-

137
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:02,492
a-flying-fuck-
about-a-thon.

138
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,494
It's that no good
bastard son.

139
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,540
That's what was
fucking up our lives.

140
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:09,978
Now that he's gone,
we got a clean slate.

141
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:10,631
We?

142
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,458
You'n me.

143
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,678
Like back in the day.

144
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:15,766
You think I'd want
to go back in

145
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,899
business with you?

146
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,857
Why the fuck not?!

147
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,686
I said I'm-- whatever
the fuck it is you say

148
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:26,386
when you're not
going to do it again.

149
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,129
You want to know
what's really been

150
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,828
fucking up all our
miserable lives?

151
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,612
Not just
our son.

152
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,745
Go look in
the mirror.

153
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:40,182
If it looks like
a Fitzpatrick,

154
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:42,227
you got your answer.

155
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:01,421
Fuck.

156
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,862
We are on the cusp, Richard.

157
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,733
The culmination
of decades worth of

158
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,561
research and development.

159
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,823
A car wash?

160
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,738
The O-cinerator.

161
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,698
It doesn't just
destroy used cars.

162
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:20,265
It repurposes them into
low-carbon emitting fuel

163
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,833
for the O-mobiles.

164
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,706
This is your ticket to
ride the money train?

165
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,011
Just the
icing on the

166
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:30,101
proverbial
oatcake, Son.

167
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:33,278
Ok, I have no idea what
you're talking about.

168
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:35,063
We're taking the
company public.

169
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,760
I plan to announce our
initial public offering

170
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,719
on Christmas day.

171
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:39,850
An IPO.

172
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,809
A license to print
money for yourself.

173
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,898
You mean, ourselves.

174
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,117
I'll be introducing
you as our new VP,

175
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:47,510
Richard Childs.

176
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,294
What's the catch?.

177
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,513
Do you consider being
the new face of

178
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,862
O-Mo a catch?

179
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:56,127
You'll be a rock star
by New Year, Richard.

180
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:59,087
Let me show you
how it works.

181
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,004
You don't happen
to have something

182
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,309
metal handy?

183
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,272
Ah.

184
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:17,366
[zap]

185
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,368
What the fuck?.

186
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:22,153
You don't need
that anymore.

187
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,031
Ali?

188
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:31,554
You know what I'm
looking at?

189
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:34,775
Me. Fitz.

190
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,865
I'm finally hitting
the big time.

191
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,997
All legit and shit.

192
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,521
Hell, if this works out,
our kid's gonna be

193
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,739
wearing gold diapers.

194
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,611
Please leave a message.

195
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,612
[beep]

196
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:47,962
Fuck.

197
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:50,791
It's me, Fitz.

198
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,270
Call me back.

199
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:58,581
No booze...

200
00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,887
I can do this.

201
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:19,254
[♪ Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy ♪]

202
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:33,877
[ethereal moans and groans]

203
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:37,620
I am your ghostly
guide through this

204
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,231
yuletide afterlife.

205
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,493
Josh?

206
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:44,018
A fucking ghost?

207
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,890
When the fuck
did you die?

208
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,893
I didn't, I'm
just super-baked.

209
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,242
Smoked the rest of
your Christmas bowl,

210
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,940
things got loco.

211
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,813
Anyways, here,
yes, ok.

212
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:04,691
You will be visited
by three goats.

213
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,431
And a horny dude.

214
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,000
That's not right.

215
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,873
Whatever, just listen
for the horn dude.

216
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,353
[loud old fashioned horn]

217
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:20,315
Oooh, ye shit
be going down.

218
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,925
It's on.

219
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:26,887
[poofing sound and
ethereal groaning]

220
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,457
You're still here.

221
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:35,591
Or am I?

222
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:42,424
[laughs and moans]

223
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:43,860
[horse neigh]

224
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,047
Hey, Mr. Fitz.

225
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,832
Sonja?

226
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:06,143
I always loved you
in that apron.

227
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,232
I'm the ghost of
Christmas past.

228
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:09,146
You're dead?

229
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,800
Milking accident.

230
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,975
Don't ask.

231
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:15,022
Well I never had sex
with a ghost before.

232
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:20,331
Just showing
you who's boss.

233
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:24,901
Fuck me.

234
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:27,034
Maybe, but first
a little journey.

235
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,210
Middle school, 1982.

236
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,081
Little Tommy Shitsack.

237
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,692
I remember
that kid.

238
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,563
His mom was
my teacher.

239
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,826
She gave me an
F that one time.

240
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,655
And you decided to beat
him up because of it.

241
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:42,745
So?

242
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,268
I was a dick.

243
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,792
I've been a dick
my whole life.

244
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,010
Repent, repent, repent.

245
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,055
Don't worry
about it.

246
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:50,448
I've already changed.

247
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,886
Actually, he
deserved it.

248
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:55,149
He was a d-bag.

249
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,803
But because of you
beating him up,

250
00:11:56,803 --> 00:12:01,633
he became a good,
ambitious person.

251
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:02,765
Grew up to
be President.

252
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,027
You're shitting me.

253
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:07,944
Of Bob's Big House
of Futons, but still.

254
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:11,774
Your badness, Mr. Fitz,
resulted in

255
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:13,515
something good.

256
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,171
Now, watch this--

257
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:20,783
Hey, that's us.

258
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,132
Christmas inventory
two years ago.

259
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,307
Shh. Pay attention.

260
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:26,789
Mr, Fitz, I am not
sleeping with you

261
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,573
in order to get
that promotion.

262
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:29,618
What's the
lesson here?

263
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,838
Sexual harassment
is bad?

264
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,449
Fitzy's open
to negotiation.

265
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,973
Nope, I just remembered
it was a really great

266
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,801
hair day--

267
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,282
And, it was also
the day you taught me

268
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,893
how to be a businesswoman.

269
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:51,335
[♪ Joy to the World ]

270
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,685
That's not all I
taught you that day.

271
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:58,952
[♪ ♪]

272
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:00,823
You know, Fitzy may have
laid off the sauce,

273
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:04,131
but he'll never say
no to the cherry.

274
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,959
Not so fast.

275
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,439
There's one last thing
I need you to see.

276
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,006
It's up to you Fitz.

277
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:13,705
Get a life or take it
someplace else.

278
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,055
Turn it off.

279
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,404
I don't need
the re-run.

280
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,405
I caught it the
first time.

281
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:18,754
Shhh.

282
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,625
You're going
to ruin it.

283
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:24,978
Wait for it,
wait for it.

284
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:28,111
and there!

285
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,330
You see that?

286
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,897
That's the face of
someone who is about to

287
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:34,683
change their life
for the better.

288
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,424
Everybody needs
an a-hole to

289
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,208
set them straight.

290
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,909
She may not be able to
be with you right now,

291
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:47,130
but she is grateful for
what you gave her.

292
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,786
[sighs]

293
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,832
Now that is true love.

294
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:55,835
Why do I get the feeling
this isn't going to

295
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,097
lead to sex?

296
00:13:58,925 --> 00:13:59,882
[bell ding]

297
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,065
Fuck sobriety.

298
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:17,204
You gonna pack it in
just like that, asswipe?

299
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:22,165
Once a pussy,
always a pussy.

300
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:29,825
[♪ ♪]

301
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:42,838
[♪ Good King Wenceslas ]

302
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,100
Another Berry Breezer.

303
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,797
But this time,
give it a shot

304
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,235
of bourbon.

305
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,758
Paula!

306
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,281
The only one who will
understand my plight.

307
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:53,109
S'up, Lar-bear?

308
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:56,199
Paula, have you ever
done the right thing

309
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:59,637
only to find out
it's the wrong thing?

310
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:04,033
No, but I have recently
done the wrong thing

311
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,166
and it felt really,
really right.

312
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:11,562
Oh... well I, Larry,
believe I may have

313
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:12,912
been wrong.

314
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,175
Instead of helping
Richard all these years,

315
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,220
I've been
hurting him.

316
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,179
Luring him to
the light side,

317
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,963
when really its
the dark side,

318
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,965
where your
father lurks.

319
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,619
Light side,
dark side.

320
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,621
It's just like Christmas.

321
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:27,970
Bullshit.

322
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,451
Paula, you need to
help me help

323
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,800
your brother.

324
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,324
Give me the keys to your
father's evil lair.

325
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,673
I will show
Richard the truth.

326
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:36,979
You've got to
get up pretty early

327
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:40,548
in the morning
to get ol' Paula...

328
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:43,072
something--
bird-- worm.

329
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,771
I gotta pee.

330
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:55,911
[♪ Good King Wenceslas ]

331
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:56,868
Oh, tampon!

332
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,007
Sorry Paula.

333
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,319
Let's do this.

334
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:14,234
Good man.

335
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:17,150
Now let's make sure the
shoe is shiny when you

336
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,803
put your best
foot forward.

337
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,023
Off to your hair and
make-up consult to

338
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,199
let your inner
Childs glow.

339
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,984
Wait!.

340
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,202
Easy, friend.

341
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:27,943
What's the trouble?.

342
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,292
You!

343
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,946
You were wrong Richard,
about me being right.

344
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:31,991
And he.

345
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,079
He is not right.

346
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:33,993
He is wrong.

347
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,603
Very, very wrong.

348
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:38,823
Pat Childs has been secretly
plotting to usurp your family

349
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:43,480
for years and years and
years and I have proof.

350
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,830
[cackles]

351
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,485
Come on come on come on.

352
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,444
To the secret lair!

353
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,229
Behold!

354
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,971
Larry, this is
not a sage idea.

355
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,973
You bet your bippy
it's not a sage idea.

356
00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:01,063
Enough of your holiday
hoodwinkery, good sir!.

357
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:01,542
Look...

358
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:02,456
Upon...

359
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:03,631
The...

360
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:06,112
Evil!

361
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,765
What the?

362
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,071
I don't understand.

363
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:13,075
Is this the evil that
you're looking for Larry?

364
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,338
I had everyone at O-MO
working around the clock

365
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:17,210
making festive ornaments.

366
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,428
For the disabled.

367
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,777
The homeless.

368
00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:20,996
The orphaned.

369
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,825
You happy,
Saint Dick-olas?

370
00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:26,871
It never ends
with this guy.

371
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,184
I know what you're
doing here, mister.

372
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,751
I'm doing what's
best for my son.

373
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:39,275
Well some say teaching
people to better themselves

374
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:42,887
is more important than
telling them what to do.

375
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,324
True.

376
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:46,500
But I always remember what
a tribal elder told me

377
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,980
after I had saved his entire
village from the ravages

378
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,808
of Hurricane Ian.

379
00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:51,809
Have you ever
done that, Larry?.

380
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,898
That's not
the point.

381
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,074
He told me that the
fool spends his days

382
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,988
changing others.

383
00:17:56,988 --> 00:18:01,732
The wise man
changes himself.

384
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:04,953
Are you calling
me a fool?

385
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,302
You can't
beat me, Larry.

386
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,261
It's unpossible.

387
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,437
That's not
even a word.

388
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,178
Exactly.

389
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,222
Security.

390
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,660
Could you assist
this gentleman?

391
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:19,750
He's looking to see
something in an exit door.

392
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,187
Oh, Pat Childs!

393
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:34,374
Your T-zone needs
damage control.

394
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,462
Get you're fucking
hands off the goods

395
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:36,767
Stephen Hawking.

396
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,595
Fine.

397
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:43,339
Look like a
dehydrated alcoholic.

398
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:46,168
Mmmmm, I'm in
a wheelchair.

399
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:46,821
That guy.

400
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:48,692
Oooh,
huffers!

401
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,259
Stop fucking around.

402
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,653
Right, ok, back
to business.

403
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:56,004
You'll now be visited
by your second goat.

404
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:58,746
Who will come
bearing presents.

405
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:02,532
Or does he
want a present.

406
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:05,840
Dammit now I have to write
a letter to Santy Claus.

407
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,887
[♪ applause and cheering ]

408
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:10,888
What the fuck?!

409
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,677
Hey everybody welcome
to The Gray Zone,

410
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,809
this is Melody Gray,
Ghost of Christmas Present.

411
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,942
Have we ever got a
treat for you today,

412
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,074
we have got an exclusive
interview with

413
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:25,294
everybody's favourite
dead beat dad,

414
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,817
Richard Fitzpatrick.

415
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:30,778
[crowd cheering]

416
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,996
Richard and I have
quite the past.

417
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,128
I didn't fuck him
while I was alive,

418
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,174
so I'm really gonna
fuck him now.

419
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,393
[crowd laughter]

420
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,873
Now you're talking.

421
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:40,135
Cause I could get
stiff for a stiff

422
00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:41,092
that looked
like you.

423
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,790
[crowd oohs]

424
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:43,791
No no, lookit everybody

425
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:46,272
Richard is about
to find out

426
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,360
what a fuckup
he really is,

427
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,970
and I'm about
to score myself

428
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,885
a Daytime Emmy.

429
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,191
Roll the clip.

430
00:19:58,458 --> 00:19:59,981
Will this gas tank
withstand the

431
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,375
tarsecs necessary
for the Goron run?.

432
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,203
For two bucks
it will.

433
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,466
We're standing outside
Fitzpatrick Motors

434
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:07,989
where family patriarch,
Ken Fitzpatrick

435
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:12,515
attempts to erase all
traces he ever had a son.

436
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:15,126
That fucksack is
selling all my stuff.

437
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:15,997
My Dexter Lane records!

438
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:16,954
My Hugo Boss!

439
00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:18,913
My panty ball!

440
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:20,567
Without hate,
Ken has no identity.

441
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,656
He's changing,
and so is Elaine.

442
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,484
The only thing those two
cancer-prunes are changing

443
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,486
are their diapers.

444
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:29,532
We take you
live to the scene.

445
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:34,015
Thank you so much
for watching the baby.

446
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,059
I had to get out.

447
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:36,147
You know what
it's like.

448
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:40,761
We certainly do.

449
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,632
Since when does Elaine
give a shit about

450
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,765
baby what's-his-nuts?

451
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,507
Fitz has bigger
problems on the horizon.

452
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:50,727
Without him there to inspire
Elaine's nefarious scams,

453
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,730
she is forced
to look elsewhere.

454
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:56,820
So she finds herself
a new business partner.

455
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,300
Who's up for
champers?

456
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,259
Ooh. A little bubbly
to seal the deal.

457
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,434
That's right ladies.

458
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,653
My mother
and Foxley?!

459
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:06,352
Oh fuck.

460
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,313
Forgive me.

461
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,836
It didn't work anyway.

462
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,099
Tis the season to
be a fucking failure.

463
00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:16,579
Take it from me.

464
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:19,060
The solution to all
of your problems is in

465
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:21,410
the bottom of
a shot glass.

466
00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,891
You wanna understand
a Fitzpatrick,

467
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:27,242
you gotta become
a Fitzpatrick.

468
00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:30,114
But, but I am
a Fitzpatrick.

469
00:21:30,114 --> 00:21:31,594
ish.

470
00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:36,947
Then tuck in your lady balls
and embrace your roots--.

471
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:42,823
And enter the
belly of the beast.

472
00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:52,006
What I do now,
I do for you,

473
00:21:52,006 --> 00:21:53,964
Richard Fitzpatrick.

474
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:58,012
In order to save you,
I must become you.

475
00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:04,148
Ok, one does not simply
suckle the she-wolfs teet

476
00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:07,761
without tasting the sting
of her sickly sweet cream.

477
00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:09,719
May whatever crucified
hobo you worship

478
00:22:09,719 --> 00:22:12,026
have mercy on
your soul.

479
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:20,600
Cheers.

480
00:22:21,775 --> 00:22:23,559
Hey! AHH!

481
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:25,431
Another round.

482
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,171
Drunk Larry.

483
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:28,129
And he's putting
it on your tab.

484
00:22:28,129 --> 00:22:29,957
That's a big oopsie,
fuck head.

485
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:30,958
You're sobriety has
turned your conscience

486
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:32,438
into a drunk.

487
00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:35,266
Care to comment?.

488
00:22:40,663 --> 00:22:42,578
Don't be alarmed.

489
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:45,755
I was just staring at you
while you slept.

490
00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:48,541
They say the eyes are
the windows to the soul,

491
00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:53,850
but the eyelids are the
curtains to those windows.

492
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,330
Good news,
sleepy head.

493
00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:58,551
We've just had an offer to
expand the O-Mo into Asia

494
00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:00,466
for the launch tomorrow.

495
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:01,945
What?

496
00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:05,775
Oh, right, ya,
giddy up.

497
00:23:05,775 --> 00:23:08,952
Your face will be beamed
live on five continents.

498
00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:10,214
But I need your help.

499
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:12,434
Taking our campaign international

500
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,305
is a huge risk.

501
00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:15,959
We need to
make a statement.

502
00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:20,660
Burn the past to blaze
a trail into the future.

503
00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:26,056
I got this.

504
00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:31,279
I had Grandma Alice's
car towed in.

505
00:23:31,279 --> 00:23:33,194
Betsy.

506
00:23:33,194 --> 00:23:37,894
My memories of this old
clunker are far from fond,

507
00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:39,418
but they are the very
things that set me

508
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,898
on a course to
change the world.

509
00:23:41,898 --> 00:23:45,641
That's why we're
going to destroy it.

510
00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:49,732
All this time you've
been selling the sizzle,

511
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:52,213
you need to give
them the steak.

512
00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:53,997
People don't want
a concept of the future.

513
00:23:53,997 --> 00:23:57,261
They want to
see it in action.

514
00:23:57,261 --> 00:23:59,307
Something they can
sink their teeth into.

515
00:23:59,307 --> 00:24:01,135
Leave some bread
crumbs, Richard,

516
00:24:01,135 --> 00:24:03,920
for I have a hard
time following.

517
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,314
Take a one of a kind
vintage classic,

518
00:24:06,314 --> 00:24:09,883
and stick it in your
incinerator thing

519
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,581
and show the world what
the O-Mo is all about.

520
00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:17,630
trading in your shitty past
for a top shelf future.

521
00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:21,590
That's my boy.

522
00:24:28,336 --> 00:24:29,816
Hello, house.

523
00:24:29,816 --> 00:24:32,514
Hey, anybody home?

524
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,776
Suck it.

525
00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:36,475
Hi lampy.

526
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,781
Hi arm chair.

527
00:24:38,781 --> 00:24:39,869
Hello... dildo.

528
00:24:41,044 --> 00:24:42,959
Oh so soft.

529
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:45,571
You have all
betrayed me.

530
00:24:45,571 --> 00:24:46,528
Especially you.

531
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:49,879
With your
puppy dog eye.

532
00:24:49,879 --> 00:24:51,185
Box.

533
00:24:53,927 --> 00:24:56,233
You are the only one
who never betrayed me.

534
00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:59,715
The only one that who
really tried to help me.

535
00:24:59,715 --> 00:25:02,457
I can become
a real Fitzpatrick.

536
00:25:02,457 --> 00:25:04,851
Oh look,
more alcohol.

537
00:25:04,851 --> 00:25:06,548
What's that Boxie?

538
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:10,726
When your best friend whose
psyche you've manifested from,

539
00:25:10,726 --> 00:25:15,078
abandons you, there's only
one thing you can do?

540
00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:19,213
Watch your grandma's
porno film.

541
00:25:19,213 --> 00:25:21,171
Belly of the beast.

542
00:25:22,782 --> 00:25:26,873
Ok boxie,
here we go.

543
00:25:26,873 --> 00:25:31,355
Whatever it takes.

544
00:25:31,355 --> 00:25:33,793
Spread em or
I'll shoot.

545
00:25:33,793 --> 00:25:38,580
Oh I'll spread em,
but you better call

546
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:44,630
for back up, cause this
is a three man job.

547
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:53,116
[fast forward moaning]

548
00:25:53,116 --> 00:26:28,499
[♪ Carol of the Bells ]

549
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:34,505
[♪ Oh Christmas Tree ]

550
00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:35,768
Grandma Alice?

551
00:26:39,554 --> 00:26:42,513
Welcome my dear
Fitzpatrick Family,

552
00:26:42,513 --> 00:26:44,298
to my last will
and testament.

553
00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:49,825
♪ Ding Donggggggg